Perhaps its the cynic in me but I get tired of forgiveness as being something for me. “Forgiveness is my ability to leave the pain and scars behind and ride off into the wonderful sunset of wholeness.” I believe that there is very much a sense that forgiveness is meant for us: an end to bitterness and the destruction of sin. There is liberation for us when we forgive.
But I don’t think that the personal benefits are the reason that we should forgive. We forgive for the sake of the other, the offending party. We give them a chance to start over again. We give them the space to make mistakes, to learn, to grow. Do people use this opportunity to change? Not always. Not usually. People take advantage of our forgiveness, they use it as a reason to continue doing wrong. They see the one who forgives as weak and easy to manipulate.
Should we then stop forgiving? Absolutely not! The point of forgiveness is that the person who offends is not worthy of mercy. //But mercy is still given.// Forgiveness is the radical belief in the power of love to transform. It is the relentless pursuit of love, despite the offenders wrongs. It is the way of God.
Remember the greatest “forgiver” in history? Jesus, dying on the cross, says’ “Father forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing”. Our example of forgiveness is definitely not a gift to the One forgiving: He is dying, nailed to a tree because of our wrongs. There is no wonderful wholeness for Jesus, just a radical love gift to those who don’t deserve it.
I guess I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the end of the story: Jesus rises again. Mercy triumphs. Forgiveness wins. Jesus is returned to glory. There is a sense that wholeness is there for the forgiver. But still the resurrection is not only about Jesus being justified in His forgiving us. It is about new life for the ones who are forgiven. Love triumphs and this gives life to the offenders.
Again the gift is to the wrong-doers. Again, isn’t that what forgiveness is ultimately about?